The fates conspired to make me hormonal the day Ramon started holding me accountable for losing my temper. We were getting ready to host a large family dinner at our house in a few days, and I was strongly reminding (okay, nagging) our son (yep, the same son as previous post) to get his room and teen area cleaned. Derek (who knows how to push all my buttons) started arguing, and I escalated it. Ramon walked into the room and cleared his throat. He gave a slight nod toward the boy, and I knew he wanted me to apologize. I resisted, because a part of me felt justified. Ramon cleared his throat again, and I remembered that I had asked for accountability. So I swallowd my pride and apologized to Derek. Then Ramon told Derek to apologize for back talking his mother, and then get his chores done.
After Derek left the room, I thanked Ramon for stepping in, but I tried to excuse myself by saying I hadn't actually lost my temper or used harsh words. Ramon said any raised or harsh-sounding voice is unacceptable in our home, and he was going to nip it in the bud. I started to protest, and he held up a hand for silence. Then he said, "You asked for accountability, and you have it. There is no going back. You are going to learn to speak nicely, and I will stop you every time you chose not to." Wow.
At dinner that day, I confessed to the kids that I had a problem with anger and had asked Dad to hold me accountable for the way I spoke to them. The kids looked at each other and then looked down. I think they were trying not to laugh. Derek definitely had a little smirk going. Bless his heart, Ramon told the kids that he expected them to respect and obey me, and if they had a problem with Mom, come to him, don't backtalk Mom or they will be in trouble. I probably smirked a little myself at this, until the talk-to-Dad-about-Mom part sunk in.
The next day, Abby, our teen daughter, let the dogs make muddy paw prints on my freshly polished kitchen floor. I yelled at her, and then jumped when Ramon appeared out of nowhere to tell me (verbally, not just with a raised eyebrow or cleared throat!) that there was no need to yell at Abby for a simple mistake. I told him, "I don’t have time to rewash floors because the kids are stupid enough to ..." He cut me off and said, "Sweetheart, you have been working hard and are clearly stressed out. I want you to apologize to Abby and then go rest in the bedroom." I apologized, but after Abby left the room, I told Ramon I was too busy to take a nap. He said, "I didn't say take a nap. I said go to your room. You're in time-out." I said, "What? You have got to be kidding me! I'm not doing that!" He took hold of both of my arms, ordered me to look at him, and said, "I'm perfectly serious. Go sit on the bed. While you're there, look up at least one Bible verse about controlling the tongue. I'll be in to check on you in a few minutes. Go." He turned me around and nudged me toward the bedroom with a little swat on the butt. Wow -- all I could think was,
Who is this man, and what has he done with my husband?
(Final part to come...)