Being Transformed into HIS Image

"All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him." 2 Corinthians 3:18 (MSG)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Accountability: Part 3

Pride comes before a fall. I had planned to explain how I had overcome my problem of getting angry and yelling at the kids. Sigh.
It was Christmas Eve 2010, and I was determined to get everyone out the door early, so all eight of us could sit together on the main floor for the candlelight service at church. I was already frustrated, because I didn’t have enough help preparing the meal and cleaning up afterward. I yelled for my daughter to help put food away and clear the table. Abby wasn’t moving fast enough, so I started barking out orders like a drill sergeant.
Ramon called me from the other room. “What do you want?” I asked impatiently. He ordered me to come and sit down by him. First, he rebuked me for my flippant attitude toward him just then, and then he told me that the way I was yelling at Abby was completely unacceptable and that I had earned five swats for yelling and five for my disrespectful attitude (to be delivered when we had some privacy). He was using his stern voice, the one that makes me feel submissive and a little bit intimidated. I said I was sorry and went to find Abby. I apologized to her and sent her to tell everyone to get ready for church and to remind Derek to take the dogs out.
As we were piling into cars, Derek ran back into the house. “What is he doing?” I asked angrily. Ramon replied, “Just settle down.” A minute later, Derek comes back out with the dogs! I rolled down my window and screamed, “Get those stupid dogs back in the house. We don’t have time for this nonsense.” Looking sheepishly over at Ramon, I saw him flash five fingers and then another five, and then another five. My eyes got big. He was promising me 15 swats , plus the previous ten! Then he told me in that firm sexy voice that I needed to apologize to Derek and everyone in the car. However, Derek jumped in the other car, and we drove off.
We arrived at church two minutes before the service was to start. Of course, the main floor was packed, so we had to go way up in the balcony. I fumed inside while looking all churchy-pleasant on the outside. Partway through the service, my heart melted.
In the car again, I apologized to Derek. He said, “I forgive you. Dad stops you before you lose your mind, so we’re cool. And sorry for not taking the dogs out earlier.” Ramon reminded the kids that they need to help around the house, even during Christmas. He praised me for making such delicious food and keeping thing running smoothly, and then he said, “We’re all going to try hard to be patient with one another and not raise voices or talk back. Are we all clear on this?” The kids immediately replied affirmatively, and I nodded.
After the kids had jumped out of the car, Ramon took my hand and said, “You need to watch your attitude. You have 25 swats coming already. That’s because there is no way I’ll let you go back to the old Alexandra. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I nodded and said, “Yes, sir.” The “sir” thing just isn’t done much here in the north, but it slipped out. Maybe because his lecture made me feel chastened. Then I felt shy. He smiled reassuringly and said, “That’s my girl,” before giving me a kiss. The rest of Christmas weekend was wonderful.
My New Year’s resolution is to make it through all the holidays this year without blowing up. I told Ramon that, and he nodded approvingly. He hugged me to himself and replied, “You better do a good job of controlling that temper, because I’m going to nip any anger or defiance in the bud.” I smiled shyly and said, “Thank you. I really do appreciate your help.” He whispered in my ear, “I’ve got your back. Your backside rather.” We both laughed. Welcome to the new year.


  1. It sounds like things are starting to work nicely in your home!Good for you both!

  2. These holidays will certainly test our resolve. I appreciate how you're both working these things out.

  3. I enjoyed reading this. Its nice to see that I'm not the only mom that has these problems. It seems theres this switch inside me and sometimes when I can shut it off theres sometimes that it gets stuck and I cant. That seems to be where you are sometimes. But its nice to have ttwd and your hubbies can find that off switch before we run a much!!! Happy New Year

  4. That's very, very nice. Good luck on your resolution.

  5. Thanks, Sara. We've made a lot of progress. It does amaze me how much more confident my husband is with me.

    I think the holidays are endurance tests, Mick. I'm glad I have Ramon to help me make it through.

    LOL Daisy, you are NOT the only mom. There are thousands like us. Make you feel better? By the way, mentioning the word "switch" twice in one paragraph is scary! Let's hope we can learn to find our own off switches, before hubbies reach for either figurative or literal ones. LOL

    B'Man, thanks.


  6. Hi Alex!

    I know I haven't commented yet, but i have been reading. Just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying reading these posts. I feel like I'm getting to know you and your family a little bit better. I regret that we haven't had more time to communicate, but it sounds like you usually have your hands full, and J and I have been going through a rough time as well. I didn't mean to shoot down your offer. truth is, I would very much like to meet up and do lunch one of these days. J has a new schedule, and he's going to be able to come home every weekend now, so maybe we could arrange something sometime soon? Ah, I'll text you. Anyways, just wanted to say I'm enjoying the blog.


  7. Alex, I am so far behind in reading the blogs. Being out of town for a week and having Christmas at home, too is a recipe for a crazy household. Nice post and glad you and Ramon are working out the details. I like that the kids are noticing. It shows that changes are taking place. I also think its great that Ramon encouraged the kids to participate in helping around the house. Without JJ backing me up, then there is no meat to my words.

    Been missing you, hope both our lives get back to normal soon.....